Camouflaged

This blog is either obsolete or too serious. Sorry about that. The last two years have been borderline ridiculous. Of late, I cannot say how often I've stopped and thought, "Wow, I never thought this would happen to me." But why not me? I'm learning and struggling, but I'm also enjoying and having fun. I'm trying not to take life too seriously.

On that note, here's another serious post. I'll try to wrangle up something lighthearted soon. :)

Written June 17th, 2012
Our Miss Lady was born two weeks ago. Oh, she is beautiful. As I stared anxiously down into her face one night in the hospital, I felt a word impressed on my mind: "special." She is special. unique. Already her grandmothers have commented on the strength of her spirit: "She must be strong, to be willing to come to this earth in a less-than-perfect body." She has been diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder which we are still trying to understand. Though she is healthy, her body cannot regulate her adrenal gland adequately and so she will be on medication for the whole of her life.

We spent the first week of her life in hospitals: several days at the hospital where she was born, and then four more at the San Antonio Military Medical Center several hours away, where a team of specialists worked with her. As she was constantly being poked for blood samples and held down for ultrasounds and x-rays, she bore it all so well. Some nurses referred to her as an "angel" or "doll" baby. Those days in the hospital were long for me. I tried to follow her example and endure it well, but I often felt so alone. I know the Lord bore us up during that time, as Mike worked and cared for the boys back home. Mom's arrival at the hospital came as an immense relief. She helped process the constant onslaught of medical information and gently reminded me to watch for the Lord's hand. I was so glad to have her there. 

 Now that the initial tests are done and a diagnosis made, I am happy to be home with our family for a whole week as of today. There is still much to discuss and determine, but life is starting to move again. I've started breathing again, after holding it in for so long. Mom-in-law and other amazing women from the ward stepped in and helped with the boys. Though they regressed in potty-training and pacifier usage, they survived having me gone and are making it through the adjustments. As always, it's hard to see them confused and unhappy. What would we do without the amazing examples around us? These amazing women who came so quickly to help? I can do this. I can. I can. I can.

I love you, Miss Lady. I love your sweet, playful smile and strong spirit. I am honored--terrified, perhaps, too--but honored and blessed to be your mother. We'll figure this out together.

And we'll all be okay.