6 Days Down!

I keep thinking that I should record my feelings about Mike leaving and how the kids are doing. But every time I sit down to write--NOTHING. I feel numb.
When Mike and I said goodbye, I didn’t cry. As I drove home with tissues in hand, I didn’t cry. For the first 4 days, I didn’t cry. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. I’m a crier (in case you haven’t caught on). I blubber. The spectrum of my emotions play out, though not in public.

Considering that we waited 2+ months knowing this day was coming, I was emotionally spent. We both were. Feeling so confident about the army decision made the wait somewhat tortuous. But we got there. He left. Life went on. We've kept functioning as normally as possible. When asked, I say “We’re doing good”—because we are, even if I didn’t have much emotion to back that up at first.

First thing each morning, the Kiddo asks, “Where’s Daddy?” He’s still trying to figure out exactly what's going on. He understands that Dad went on an airplane to the Army and that he’ll be back. The other night, as I was tucking him into bed, he asked me to sing, “When Daddy Comes Home.” In that moment, the emotions came flooding back. I cried. It was refreshing and welcome, after feeling stoic and emotionless for half a week.

But frankly, I was grateful for a tearless goodbye.

**We haven’t heard much from Mike yet, just that he arrived safely at Basic Training and that his head is already bald.